Written by Felix Massinda
For years I have been stumbled by fear of myself, starting a new thing, moving on and network with different people from different cultures of the world. I was so quite when I meet people I mean my classmates assuming they were better than I thought I was.
During classes and discussion, my mind could concentrate at times for I based on looking how others contributed and shared their views in class. You can all imagine how lonely that made feel.
After a while I tried so much to cope with them to be on the same page, I did not realize what fears I had that hindered me to be free form myself. I was like a goat in the middle of the lion field scared to loose my life. Before my form one grade midterm exams, I tried to conquer the fear that I didn’t even know. So I was like a baby trying to touch everything to please me maybe sometime I will touch what makes me happy but I couldn’t find it either.
One morning, I was called for a morning talk in front of the whole school despite my school was a seminary school ( religious owned school), management was so strict to academic matters. Before I said a word, I was sweating enough while my school was located in a very high frosty areas in Lushoto, Tanga, Tanzania. So I started with a lot of stammer and gap fillers, when the time ended, I realized I didn’t say anything important for it was so hard for me to speak out. I was punished to speak again next morning because I didn’t present anything clear.
It was then I realized my biggest fear in front of my colleagues. So I prepared myself good, frankly speaking; I couldn’t learn how to speak English language within less than 24hrs so I crammed the topic enough to be competent in front of the school, at this point I was only scared for questions, how could I have answered?
Soon after I managed the morning talk well, as many other said I did, I counted myself as a failure because you cant cram a topic and present the count yourself successful. I started a mission of learning English as hard as I could, I had support from my colleagues and my teachers, It was easy because I opened up without shame and achieved, I learned English well and I was happy.
Later, on my form three grade, I was chosen to be the academic prefect, I counted it as one of my achievement back then, well its still is till now and I am proud of it.
The fear I had before was to be seen as the dumbest in class, I realized my weakness and conquered it.
I call upon those who are feared to face theirs, its time to put down the proud and pretending to know better while you are not, its time to choose what you want, identify your fear and do something about it. Its either now or never.
"If you haven`t started, you will never achieve"
Posted by Motivational Talks